I clicked through her Facebook album with a lump of vague disdain growing uncomfortably in the back of my throat. Not two weeks had gone by, and (as if her constant status updates about the number of days hadn't been enough) she had already posted 100-odd pictures of the magical day for the great wide internet world to see. There was the obligatory dress shot. There she was cheek to cheek with her perfectly-coiffed bridesmaids, nose-to-nose with her groom, snuggling up to the unnaturally adorable flower girl. It seemed her magical day had been sunny, perfect, and wonderful.
Except... How could it be wonderful when she was wearing that tiara? With that cake so fondant-y? When the bridesmaids were so abundant, and the reception venue alone had--clearly-- cost her parents a cool $10-thou?
It took me two albums to realize I was being unfairly judgemental. It took me three to realize why.
See, July has been looming large for the past two months or so, and so has TDH's joblessness. Two weeks ago, we decided to postpone the wedding until further notice.
The truth was, that throat lump wasn't so much about distain as it was about pain. I wasn't upset that he went up her skirt for the garter or that everything was fully catered. I was upset because while I'd level-headedly, optimistically put our wedding off, my own sunny, perfect, wonderful day was now back at square one, and her's had come and gone without so much as a cloud.
I'm not envious, not really. It's just that when your plans go down the tubes, it's easy to feel unjustly slighted when everything's coming up roses for everyone else. We Limbo Brides (I know you're out there, ladies) just have to remember that all-important lesson we learned from our first attempted bike ride: let yourself cry a little, pick yourself up, and start again.
Little Miss and her Mr. Aussie are getting married in less than two weeks. I'm sure the twinge of pain will be back at some point, but it's their day, not mine. I'm gonna put on my game face, strap on my heels, and have a great time, because some day soon, the sun is gonna shine, and TDH and I will finally, finally be together.
More adventures in shoestring, seat-of-the-pants wedding planning to come :)
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